It's Not a Loss

So the relationship ended.  Whether you ended it or they did, it’s now done.  Yet you’re sitting at home contemplating whether or not it was a good decision.  You’re hurt, confused and continue to miss this person that was an integral part of your life – and that’s okay!

You are allowed to mourn.  You are allowed to hurt and heal for as long as you need too.  Take your time.

But if you are ever considering going back, take a quick look at this list and realize that if any of these things have happened to you while in that relationship…well…

It’s not a loss.

It’s not a loss when:

  • They can’t seem to hold a steady job
  • They are always broke
  • They’ve cheated on you more than once
  • Shoot, they’ve cheated on you period
  • They don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day
  • They’ve got 3 kids and unhealthy relationships with 2 baby mamas/daddies
  • They don’t believe in public affection
  • They told you they were single
  • They lie for the smallest of things
  • They lie for the biggest of things
  • They just lie
  • They make you feel small
  • They make you feel inferior
  • They make you doubt yourself
  • They make you feel stupid
  • They call you names
  • They make you cry
  • They keep you from your friends and family
  • They use you
  • They control you
  • They tell you how to dress
  • They call you ‘crazy’ or ’emotional’
  • They don’t believe in your dreams
  • They don’t make you feel desired
  • They are disrespectful to you, your family and/or friends

And the list goes on, and on, and on!  I’m sure if you take a deeper look at your ended relationship you will see the qualms and signs of toxicity and abuse that you have been ignoring from Day 1!

Take a step back and realize that most ended relationships are never a loss, and are instead just one door closing and the opportunity for another new, amazing, uplifting door to open!

You deserve all that you desire, and when one relationship is not fulfilling you in every area of your life and every ounce of your being, depending on the type of relationship you both have, you can either find ways to create fulfillment OR it’s simply time to move on.  A healthy relationship will always find ways to fix the underlying problems, support one another, and aid in personal growth, while an unhealthy relationship will stunt and stifle your personal progress and continue to make you feel undeserving.

But you are deserving.  You are worth it!  And anything you dream of, you can have!  This you must remember.  Nothing is ever a loss that makes you feel unworthy.

If you have some reasons and reminders for why it’s not a loss, comment below!  If you are interested in sharing your personal experiences with me, contact me directly via email at!